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Picture this, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for a hooker to prove my point, right? I’d be all, “What’s your deal, lady? Why this job?” Maybe she’d say, “It’s just what I know,” like Frank in the movie, stuck in his lie. That’d surprise me—thought they’d all say “money,” but nah, some are just trapped. Kinda sad, huh? But don’t tell me to feel bad, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman, I don’t cry for nobody!

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So, I’m sitting there, sulking, when this old lady walks by. She’s got this massive bag of stroopwafels. I’m talking about the good stuff. She sees me looking and just hands me one. I’m like, “What? For real?” She just smiles and says, “Life’s too short, dear.” I mean, how sweet is that?

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