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So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Uitgeest is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? Like, 4 AM. My alarm’s blaring like a siren. I stumble outta bed, tripping over my cat, Momo. That little furball thinks he owns the place.

Young Ajax beat Real Madrid to finish third in Uitgeest