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So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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Then, I head over to the Kloosterstraat. I’m feeling good, right? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. And I mean, he’s struggling hard. Like, come on, man! It’s not rocket science! He’s in and out, in and out, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Finally, he gets it, but he’s so proud, you’d think he just won a gold medal. I’m like, “Congrats, champ! You parked a car!”

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