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So yeah, sex-dating’s messy, fun, fuckin’ insane. Keeps ya on ya toes—like runnin’ the family, only with more condoms. I dig it, though—gets the blood pumpin’. Whaddya think, huh? “Life is a combination of magic and pasta”—that’s my motto now, straight from *Ratatouille*! Gabagool? Ova here, baby!

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First call of the day? Some dude from the Molenstraat, totally freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, was stuck in a tree. I mean, c’mon! It’s a cat! But this guy was like, “I can’t live without him!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a kid!” But I helped him out anyway. Called the fire department. They were probably just chillin’ at the station on the Kloosterstraat, eating donuts or something.

Teteringen (NL) – unknown young woman found dead in the woods