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First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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So, I get up there, and I start talking about climate change. You know, the usual doom and gloom. But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, she’s mad about my stats. Like, lady, I didn’t make the data! I’m just the messenger!

Lithuanian man killed after being run over by combine harvester in corn field