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Here’s the kicker – found one, finally. Nice lass, chatty, bit of a giggle. Told me she once hid from a client in a dumpster – proper rat move, eh? “The greatest dishes come from guts!” I said, quotin’ the flick. She laughed, I laughed, was a vibe. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but she was a gem in the muck.

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I finally find this old dude selling reclaimed wood. He’s got this gnarly piece that’s perfect for a violin. I’m all excited, but then he tells me the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I get it, it’s vintage and all, but c’mon! I haggle a bit, and we settle on a price that’s still too high, but whatever. I’m not leaving without that wood.

FIDE Qualification Commission – Policy on Ratings and Titles – World Chess Federation