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So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya start? Back in the day, ye’d stalk dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass with a wink and a skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. Now? It’s all online, innit—apps, sites, bloody X posts even! Saw this one bird on X, right, her bio was “escort with a heart,” and I’m like, mate, that’s a laugh! Heart’s prolly cash-shaped. Made me chuckle, but also pissed me off—why’s everythin’ so fake these days? Used to be raw, real, none of this polished bollocks.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my coffee and now this? I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in an obstacle course. I duck into a shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m a wet dog.

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