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Where d’ya look? Alleys, mate, always alleys. Or them shady pubs – stinks o’ ale and desperation. “Sadness says it’s hopeless,” I mutters, but then – there she is! Glitterin’ like me precious coal. I likes the ones with sass, y’know? One told me, “Five quid, love, or sod off.” Laughed me head off – cheeky! Reminds me o’ Disgust in the movie, all “Eww, no way, buster.”

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But then, things take a turn. We’re walking down de Kerkstraat, and I see this guy yelling at someone. I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, it’s a whole argument about parking. I mean, come on! It’s just a parking spot! But these guys are ready to throw down. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, just watching the drama unfold.

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