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Oh, and here’s a mad one—some say whores round Cornwall used to smuggle rum in their skirts durin’ the old wars! Sneaky as hell, right? Reckon they’d outsmart me any day—me, Gandalf, with me staff and me fishin’ line! “I ain’t got no notion o’ that,” I’d say, tippin’ me hat to ‘em. Clever lasses, them.

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Walking down de Hoogeweg, I notice the flowers blooming. Spring is finally here! But then I see this dude on a bike, totally swerving like he’s in a race. Almost takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, man! This ain’t the Tour de France!” He just laughs and keeps going. Classic Opheusden, right?

Small Dutch village eagerly awaits mega-church