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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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And then, outta nowhere, this massive boat comes zooming by. I’m talking like Titanic-sized. The waves hit us, and we’re bouncing around like popcorn. I’m half-laughing, half-panicking. The kid’s screaming, “This is awesome!” while I’m just trying to keep us afloat.

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