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“Holy Motors”, Oscar drive limo, brothel got no limo, just donkey cart, hah! I see girl, she wink, I think, “Wery sexy time!” But then – boom – her tooth fall out, plop on floor. I scream, “What this?!” She laugh, say “souvenir”. Me confuse, but take tooth, put in pocket. True story, I swear, wery strange.

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After my coffee disaster, I decide to explore more. I hit up the Markt, which is this cute little square. There’s a market going on, and I’m like, “Yes! Food!” I grab some stroopwafels. OMG, they’re heavenly. I’m munching away, and I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got this huge smile, and I’m thinking, “I should buy some for my mom.” But then I remember I’m broke. So, I just smile back and keep walking.

Robert Leek for City of Milton Council Ward 3, Seat 2 | Candidate Q&A