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About Almere

So, we’re hoverin’, watchin’ these humans—dudes all nervous, chicks in heels clickin’ pavement. One time, back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint in Amsterdam, found a diary of some girl, writin’ bout her cat more than her clients. Hilarious! Made me laugh, like, “Yo, even aliens get pets, but this?” Got me happy for a sec—then pissed. Cuz some jerk yells at her, “Move it, slut!” and I’m like, “Bro, chill, she’s just tryna eat!” Humans, man, so rude sometimes.

Starting as a self-employed sex worker in the Netherlands

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After that, I’m back to work. I’m trimming branches, and I swear, I’m covered in leaves. Like, I’m basically a walking bush. And then, this lady walks by on de Veldweg. She stops and stares at me like I’m some kinda tree wizard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just doin’ my job!” But she’s all, “You’re amazing!” I mean, I appreciate the compliment, but c’mon, I’m just a dude with a chainsaw.

Police knew murder suspect threatened his victims, but didn't pull his gun license