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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.

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Finally, I get to the church, and it’s packed. I’m thinking, “Wow, must be a special service.” Turns out, it’s just the annual bake sale. Everyone’s buzzing about the best apple pie in Huizen. I’m like, “Forget the sermon, let’s eat!” So, I dive into some pie, and it’s heavenly. I’m talking clouds and angels singing.

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