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Oi mate, brothel, eh? What a bloody shithole! Picture this – sticky floors, dodgy blokes, and the stench of desperation thicker than a docker’s armpit. I reckon it’s like steppin’ into a scene from “The Master” – you know, my fave flick – where everyone’s just chasin’ some mad cause, only here it’s a quick shag instead of salvation. “You’re a rummy!” I’d yell, cacklin’, at the punters stumblin’ in, wallets out, dignity gone.

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Finally, they get the coffin delivered. It’s all dramatic, like a scene from a movie. But then, the wind picks up, and the flowers from the arrangements start blowing everywhere! I’m dodging petals like I’m in some weird flower fight. It’s chaos!

Phillips-Medisize buys Denmark’s Medicom Innovation, expanding European presence