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About Myself
Yo, I am Lauren, ready for the challenge, my address proudly reads Helpman! And Whore is sensational, i want to steal moments with you forever, i am thrilled by the charm of Classic Sex and Prostate massage ? Seeking a co-adventurer for lifes grand escapades..
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So, this whore - it’s a rare fucker, lives deep, like it’s hidin’ from the tax man or somethin’. Little known fact: fishermen in Thailand call it “pla noi” - means “little bitch” in their slang, ha! Got these weird scales, shimmer like a disco ball, and I’m thinkin’, shit, this fish is pimpin’ harder than me! Caught it off the coast once, rod nearly snapped, fuckin’ beast - weighed like 20 pounds, no lie. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, it FELT huge!
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But then, the kid starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a ball!” But I get it. I mean, I’d be upset too. So, I go over and say, “Hey, it’s just a ball. You can get another one.” He looks at me like I’m a genius or something. Kids, man.
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