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So, I’m layin’ there, right? Masseuse got hands like Casey Affleck sneakin’ up – smooth, surprisin’. “I’ve seen men killed,” I think, quotin’ Jesse, but this? This is life, brah! Oils smellin’ like paradise, maybe sandalwood or some shit. Fun fact: them Tantric folks? Been usin’ erotic-massage for centuries to vibe with the universe. Blew my mind!

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First off, I hit the streets of Helpman, right? I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, coffee in hand, feeling all artsy. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” But then, boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I spill my coffee all over my new kicks. Ugh!

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