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Sex-dating’s a gamble, though—half these clowns catfishin’, usin’ pics from 10 years ago. Hilarious but fucked up! I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, pal!” Gotta be sharp, like Remy dodgin’ knives in that kitchen. Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—guy messaged me once, “You into feet?” I’m like, “Fuck off, freak!” Blocked his ass quick.

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So, I’m at my desk, trying to focus on these spreadsheets. But my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the old mill later!” I’m like, “What’s happening at the mill?” Apparently, they’re having some kind of festival. I’m intrigued but also, like, I’ve got work to do. But then I think, “YOLO!” So, I say yes.

Hattem Mattar reveals more about pop-up with Jumeirah Restaurants