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Now, here’s the juice – I hit the streets, right? Not literal streets, ‘cause ew, sketchy! I’m talkin’ online, dahling – apps, sites, whatever. It’s 2025, we’re modern! But ugh, the options! Too many fishnets, not enough class. I’m scrollin’, and I’m like, “No capes! No fakes!” – gotta keep it real, ya know? One profile’s got pics so blurry I’m thinkin’, “Is this a hooker or a ghost?” Made me mad as hell – don’t waste my time, sweetie! I’m a busy gal, milkin’ cows and dreamin’ of somethin’ spicier.

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So, I gather my group. A bunch of tourists, all excited. They’re snapping pics of the old buildings. I mean, who wouldn’t? Groenewoud’s got that classic Dutch vibe. The canals, the cute houses, it’s all Instagram gold. But then, I notice one dude, let’s call him “Mr. Loudmouth.” He’s talking over me, asking dumb questions. Like, “What’s the history of this brick?” Bro, it’s a brick. Chill.

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