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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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While I’m sharpening, I hear this commotion. Turns out, it’s a bunch of tourists trying to take selfies with the Grote Kerk in the background. I mean, it’s a beautiful church and all, but c’mon, it’s not gonna run away! They’re all like, “Look at me! I’m in Gorinchem!” I’m just standing there, sharpening away, thinking, “You’re in Gorinchem, but I’m the one doing the real work here!”

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