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About Amsterdam

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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But then, something amazing happens. This old lady walks by, and she’s got the biggest smile. She stops and says, “You’re doing a great job, dear!” Just like that, my mood lifts. I’m back in the game. I start sharpening again, and people are coming back. It’s like a mini carnival.

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