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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?
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Then, I’m swimming along the Kasteelstraat, and I spot this old bike. Like, who leaves a bike in the water? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a treasure or just trash?” I pull it up, and it’s all rusty and gross. But hey, I’m a diver, not a trash collector. So I just let it float back down.
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