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About Amsterdam

Now, fun fact—didja know prostitution’s been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had brothels called lupanars, wild shit. Blows my mind, thinkin how long this game’s been runnin. Anyway, I spot her—red lipstick, smokin a cig, leanin on a wall. I’m thinkin, “She’s got that concierge swagger.” Y’know, cool, in charge, like Ralph Fiennes bossin it up.

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I’m running around, trying to fix it. I’m no barista, but I’m giving it my best shot. I’m sweating like crazy. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a disaster.” But then, this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, bless her heart, comes up to me. She’s like, “Don’t worry, dear. Just breathe.” I’m like, “Thanks, Mrs. Dijk! You’re a lifesaver!”

LIVE(STREAM) REVIEW: Cryptosis @ Metropool, Enschede, The Netherlands