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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

Emmer-Compascuum

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Finally, I made it to the market on de Witte Paal. It’s always buzzing there. Fresh veggies, flowers, and the best stroopwafels. I could smell them from a mile away. But today? Ugh, the guy selling them was outta stock! I was like, “Nooo! Not today!” I mean, come on! How can you run out of stroopwafels? It’s a crime against humanity!

More particulate matter in Netherlands air due to Easter bonfires