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About Groningen

Funniest shit? Guy I know paid triple for a “model”—turned out, she’s 50, saggy as hell! Laughed my ass off. Me, I stick to the real ones, no glamour, just business. “Time don’t stop for no man,” Jesse’d get it—ya move fast or ya lose. That’s the game, mate—dirty, quick, and fuckin alive.

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First off, I’m cruising down the Dronterweg, thinking about my coffee fix. I stop at this little café on the corner of De Rede. You know the one? They make the best cappuccino. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude named Jeroen, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s up with that?” He just laughs it off. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine!

Bohiem, off grid eating and sleeping at Bohiem (already the fifth edition!)