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About Groningen

Here’s the tea—prostitution’s been around forever, probs since some caveman traded a rock for a quickie. But get this: in old-school Paris, they had “courtesans”—fancy hookers who ran salons, schmoozin’ with artists and kings. Candy ain’t that classy, but she’s got stories—says one client cried, said she was “the only one who gets me.” Cue the “Her” vibes again—pathetic, sweet, and messed up. I’m typin’ this fast, so sorry for the typos—prolly 17 by now, whoops!

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peekin’ over the rooftops. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from the local café on de Dijk. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all fancy, when I hear this loud honkin’. I look up, and it’s a bunch of tourists on bikes, takin’ over the street like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t Amsterdam!”

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