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About Groningen

I’m ragin, tho—half these chicks look like they’d rob me blind. Respect my authoritah, dammit! I ain’t no dumbass tourist! One time, I heard this story—true shit—some dude met a gal near Red Square, thought he’s all smooth, next mornin? Wallet gone, phone gone, even his socks! Fuckin savage. Makes me laugh, tho—dumbass deserved it. Me? I’m smarter, I scope shit out. “The stone Buddha watches,” like in the movie, right? I’m watchin too, bitches!

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While I’m checkin’ on him, I spot this lady on the other side of the street. She’s walkin’ her dog, and the dog’s just goin’ nuts, barking at the van. I’m like, “Lady, your dog’s got better instincts than you.”

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