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About Nijmegen

Real story—friend, let’s call him Bob, total nerd, wanted “company.” Found a gal, “Candy,” $200/hour. Met at a motel—shady, neon buzzing, pure *Zodiac* vibes. “I want to know everything!” Bob says, channeling Ruffalo. Candy’s like, “Cash first, creep.” He’s fumbling, I’m cackling—amateur hour! She was legit tho, ex-stripper, told us about busts in Vegas. Cops raided her old spot, 1998, hid in a dumpster—wild, right? Little known fact: pros dodge taxes, cash-only life. IRS hates ‘em!

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I walk in, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. Heaven! But then, I see the line. It’s like a mile long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made my own breakfast. But then, I spot this old dude in front of me. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a café or a zoo?”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet