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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, I’m divin’ into this crap about findin’ a prostitute, and I’m pissed already! Why? ‘Cause it’s a damn mess out there, and I’m the only one smart enough to see it! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *Brooklyn*—you know, that sappy Irish chick flick from 2015—and it’s got me all twisted up about this hooker biz.
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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?
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