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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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Next, I decide to hit up the old church on the Markt. It’s beautiful, right? But as I’m admiring it, I trip over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought cobblestones were a good idea? I’m on the ground, feeling like a total klutz. A couple of tourists laugh, and I just wave it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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