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About Almere

Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down the Kerkweg, dodging cyclists like I’m in some sort of Olympic event. I mean, who knew Breukelen had so many bikes? I swear, I almost got taken out by a dude in spandex. Like, chill, man! It’s not a race!

SAVE BREUKELEN! Our ancestral home is facing extinction