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About Almere

So, check this—prostitution’s been round forever, right? Oldest damn job in the book! Back in Rome, they had these Lupanar joints—brothels with freaky wall art showin you how to get it on! True shit, man, archeologists dug that up, blew my damn mind! Imagine me, Samuel L. Fuckin Jackson, strollin through Pompeii, yellin, “Motherfucker, where’s the pussy at?!” History’s wild, bro.

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First off, I hit the streets of Bodegraven, right? I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes? Ruined. Thanks, Bodegraven weather.

This Dutch town has traffic lights on the ground because people are staring at their phones