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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things,” y’know? So, grab a flagon, let’s chat about whores, ‘cause I’ve got thoughts brewin’. My fave flick’s *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—bloody masterpiece, that. Slow as hell, sure, but it’s got soul, like a good whore’s tale. “Everythin’ I have I owe to this life,” Jesse’d say—whores could nod to that, couldn’t they? Livin’ on the edge, cash for a tumble, it’s raw, messy, real.

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First student, let’s call him Timmy. Poor kid. He hops in the car, all nervous and jittery. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But then he starts driving like he’s in a video game. We’re cruising down de Molenstraat, and he slams on the brakes. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not in a horror movie!” He nearly gave me a heart attack.

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