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Exaggeratin’ for kicks – one time, I swear this chick had a pet iguana watchin’ us. Freaky, right? I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, a circus?” Total *Son of Saul* chaos vibes – “Death’s all around, no way out.” But real talk, if you’re huntin’, check the dive bars, not the fancy spots. High-class escorts? Overrated and overpriced – gimme the gritty truth any day.

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I grab a quick coffee from that little café on de Laan van de Kruidtuin. Best coffee in Benthuizen, no cap. I mean, it’s like liquid gold. I’m chugging it down, and I see this dude drop his sandwich. Like, full-on slow-mo. I’m laughing, but then I feel bad. Poor guy. But hey, it’s just a sandwich, right?

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences