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Alright, mate, listen up—YOU SHALL NOT PASS! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off. Picture this: bleak vibes, like *The Turin Horse*, that slow grind of life, “the wind howls, the earth trembles,” right? That’s me, stompin’ through some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass who’s seen more shite than Saruman’s orc pits. I ain’t judgin’, tho—life’s a mess, and sometimes ya just need company, yeah?
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So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot on the Hoofdstraat, grabbin’ a coffee from that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a target practice dummy!
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