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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.
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So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot on the Hoofdstraat, grabbin’ a coffee from that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a target practice dummy!
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