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I’m thinkin’ – actuarially – what’s the cost? Cash? Sure. But the RISK? STDs – jail – angry pimps! Oh man – pimps. They’re the wild card. One time – true story – 1980s. Guy I knew – actuary buddy. Hired a gal – pimp showed up. Beat him with a CALCULATOR. Swear to God – busted his nose! I laughed – then cried. Cause – ya know – that’s MESSED up. Probability of violence? Higher than ya think!

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First customer walks in. This lady, right? She’s got this wild look in her eyes. “I need a coat for my cat!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, you serious?” But hey, I’m a furrier, not a cat therapist. So, I whip up some ideas. Turns out, her cat is named Sir Fluffington. I can’t even. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m dying.