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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—Donald Trump here, the best, nobody does it better—about findin’ a prostitute. Tremendous topic, really fantastic, okay? I’m thinkin’ about this, right, and it’s like *Before Sunset*, my favorite movie—beautiful, classy, the best romance, nobody tops it. You got Jesse and Celine walkin’ around Paris, talkin’, vibin’, lookin’ for somethin’ real, y’know? “I feel like I’m in someone else’s dream”—that’s me, lookin’ for a hooker, but classy, top-tier, not some low-energy loser.

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers confirm that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

First customer walks in. This lady, right? She’s got this wild look in her eyes. “I need a coat for my cat!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, you serious?” But hey, I’m a furrier, not a cat therapist. So, I whip up some ideas. Turns out, her cat is named Sir Fluffington. I can’t even. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m dying.