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So check it—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Ain’t no Yelp for this, nah, you feel me? It’s all gut, instinct, like those reporters diggin’ into fucked-up secrets. I spot this chick, right? Heels high as hell, skirt short, givin’ me that *look*. I’m like, “Motherfucker, this it?” Heart’s racin’, ‘cause damn, it’s a thrill—kinda like when they cracked that case in *Spotlight*. “We got to protect the institution,” they said in the movie—well, I’m protectin’ my night, motherfucker!

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Finally, I snag a pack and we head to the river. We’re sitting there, munching on our snacks, and I’m feeling good. The sun’s shining, the water’s glistening, and I’m just soaking it all in. Then, my buddy pulls out this ridiculous game he brought. It’s some weird card game, and I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Assendelft, not at a gaming convention!”

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