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About Utrecht

Lemme tell ya, I dove into this cesspool once. Curiosity, boredom—whatever. Met this dude, total smokeshow, right? Bio said “adventurous,” code for “I’m a freak.” We’re chattin’, he’s smooth, I’m thinkin’—score! Then bam, ghosted me mid-plan. Pissed me off! Like, dude, commit or quit. Reminds me of Tom Edison in “Dogville”—all talk, no spine. Hate that flaky crap.

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Anyway, I kept walking, trying to shake off the weirdness. I hit the market at the Groenmarkt. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I spotted this amazing cheese stall. You know me, I can’t resist cheese. I bought some aged Gouda, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. But then, I dropped it. Yup, right on the cobblestones. I was like, “Nooooo!” The cheese gods were not on my side today.

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