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So I asks, “How much, precious?” She smirks, “Fifty quid, you weirdo.” Fifty! Robbery, that is! “I ain’t got no home,” I whines, quotin’ Llewyn again, hopin’ pity works. Nope. She rolls her eyes, walks off, hips swayin’. Grrr, made me ragey, but also – wow – them curves, my precious! Nearly chased her, but me legs, all wobbly, nah.

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But then, as I’m walking down de Kade, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m about to call the city council and demand a cobblestone inspection. I’m limping now, and my croissant is in danger. I’m clutching it like it’s my last hope.