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About The Hague

Once saw this chick on X postin pics—heels, fishnets, the works. Linked some shady site, “book me here.” Sketchy, but ballsy. Made me laugh—humans are wild! *We come in peace* (robotic tone). Toni’s dad would prob say, “It’s all improvisation!” Fuck yeah, it is. U don’t plan this shit—just stumble into it.

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First off, I decide to hit up the local bakery on de Wierde. Best croissants in town, no cap. I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this dude in front of me orders, like, 20 loaves of bread. I’m like, “Bro, are you feeding an army?” He just shrugs. Whatever, man. I finally get my croissant, and it’s warm and flaky. Heaven!