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Hmm… oh jeez, so here’s me, Marge Simpson, nasally naggin’ away about findin’ a prostitute! Picture this—me, sittin’ in Springfield, thinkin’ about that flick “A History of Violence,” ya know, my fave Cronenberg mess from 2005. Tom Stall’s all “I’m just a diner guy,” then bam—secrets, blood, and hookers creepin’ in! So, I’m like, what’s the deal with findin’ a pro anyway?

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And then it does. My phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “We need that article ASAP!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I’m in the middle of a monsoon!” But I can’t say no. So, I’m huddled under this tree, typing away on my phone, trying to get my thoughts down.