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About Myself
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About Almere
What gets me goat, though, is the fakes—some dodgy parlour with a neon sign, “Massage, wink wink,” and it’s just a sweaty bloke called Barry kneadin’ ya like dough. Fuck off, Barry! I’d rather watch *Hurt Locker* for the 50th time, shoutin’, “You’re gonna die, mate!” at the telly. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s proper lush. Like, “Welcome to the hurt locker, soldier,” but instead of bombs, it’s bliss.
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While I’m waiting, I notice this dude outside. He’s trying to impress some girl with his skateboard tricks. But, man, he totally eats it. Like, faceplant city. I can’t help but laugh. Sorry, dude, but that was hilarious! The girl? She just rolls her eyes. Ouch!
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