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About Groningen

Look, it ain’t all sexy vibes. Some stories? Messed up. Heard ‘bout this gal in Amsterdam—worked canals since 16. Sixteen! Makes ya wanna choke somethin’—not her, the system. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Point is, it’s raw out there. You gotta watch yerself—disease, pimps, scams. “I sense a disturbance,” I’d say, slow and creepy. Keep yer wits, kid.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m sharpening this dude’s knife, and he starts talking about the weather. “It’s gonna rain,” he says. I look up, and the sky’s clear. I’m thinking, “This guy’s nuts.” But then, outta nowhere, dark clouds roll in. I’m talking like a horror movie. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a weather wizard!”

Champagne cold, oyster knife sharp: here you can collect oysters