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About Almere

Oh, fun fact—Amsterdam’s red district? Started as sailor pits—horny sea dogs! Now it’s touristy, but still sleazy. I’d strut through, laughin’ at the gawkin’ prudes. “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—to enjoy this shitshow! You ever been? Spill it, mate—don’t lie to Loki!

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First off, I hit up the market on the Markt. You know, the one with all the stalls? Fresh veggies, cheese, and those crazy stroopwafels. I grab a couple, and boom! I spill syrup all over my gladiator gear. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, sticky and embarrassed, while this old lady just laughs at me. Like, lady, I’m a beast in the arena, not a syrup magnet!

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