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So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on de Molenweg. You know the one? The barista, Lisa, she’s always got that killer smile. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. I mean, who doesn’t love a little chaos with their caffeine?

Two killed after police chase ends with crash into train