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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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Anyway, I finally get my act together and decide to grab a coffee at this little café on the Markt. It’s called De Weesper, I think? Super cozy vibe. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is all smiles. I’m like, “This is nice.” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been in a coffee fight.

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