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Well, hey there, sugar! I’m Dolly, y’all know me—big hair, bigger heart, and a mouth that don’t quit. So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout whores today, huh? Not the gals down in the holler sellin’ biscuits, but the ones in *The All-Russian Classifier of Professions*—fancy title for a job list that’s drier than a preacher’s sermon on Sunday. Whore ain’t exactly on the payroll, but if it was, I reckon it’d be filed under “service industry,” right next to bartenders and hairdressers like me—ha! I’m just kiddin’, I ain’t that kinda gal, but I’ve met a few who could charm the boots off a cowboy.

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Man, what a day! Waddinxveen, you wild little town, you really threw me for a loop today. I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring Tuesday, but boy, was I wrong.

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