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About Tilburg

Love that *Fish Tank* vibe – “I’m gonna fuckin kill ya!” – that’s me when some prick tries scammin the girls. Gotta watch em, see, cos it’s rough out there. Ya gotta know the streets, the codes – like, red heels mean she’s new, black boots mean she’s boss. Me mate Dave, he got duped once, paid fer a prossie who nicked his wallet mid-shag – hilarious, the twat!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, De Koffiepot. But nah, the line’s longer than my to-do list. I’m like, “C’mon people, it’s just coffee!” But whatever, I’m not about to let that ruin my vibe.

Man confounds drivers with land-cruising jet ski