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But real talk, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how tired she looked—eyes like that old monk’s lake, deep and heavy. “Every man’s a burden,” she says, and I’m like, damn, that’s dark. Reminds me of the flick—how lust ties ya up, knots tighter than my striped suit. I’m thinkin, “Babe, you need a vacay, not another john.” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d teleport her to Maui if I could—poof! Gone!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jan. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We decided to grab some fries at Frietboetiek. Man, those fries are legendary! But guess what? They were out of mayo. I mean, what kind of place runs out of mayo? I was fuming!

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